Speaking the Language of Trust

Many of us talk about building trust within our teams, in our relationships, and with our clients.

But people’s sense of integrity (and their interpretation of what that means) varies.

For some, trust means reliability: doing what you say, delivering on time, keeping your word.

For others, it’s emotional openness: being honest, humble, and willing to let people in.

For others still, it’s discretion: observing more than speaking, and keeping things to yourself unless asked.

And maybe, for a rare few, it’s all of the above.

We assume others operate by the same “rules.” When they don’t, we think: How dare they?

But let’s approach this subject with the premise that each of us has walked a different path, wearing different shoes.

Our values, beliefs, virtues, and cultures — both ethnic and familial — shape our sense of right and wrong. That’s what makes the world messy.

We’re all speaking different languages, spoken and otherwise.

Until we stop assuming that our way is the “right” way, we’ll stay stuck in the same loop of finger-pointing, blaming, and the most lethal enemy of all: judgment.

So how do we build trust — with our audience, peers, coworkers, family, friends, and even strangers — in a world that feels less trustworthy by the day?

AI, fake news, propaganda, he-said/she-said, projection… how do we even know what’s true?

The short answer: learn to listen, and go from there.

The long answer: learn to listen, and go from there.

In principle, the answer is simple.

In practice, listening well is one of the hardest skills to master.

Our fears and egos — that restless need to be right, to be heard, to protect our identity — hijack us, especially when emotions run high. It’s part of being human.

It’s in those emotional moments that listening is most needed, and least accessible.

But if we can honor our humanness — notice our tendencies and choose to listen anyway, even when it’s inconvenient — then truth, and therefore trust, can surface.

If you want to be trusted, listen.

If you want to be understood, listen.

If you wish to be impactful, listen.

And if this post has sparked questions or even rebuttals in your mind, I’m here, ready to listen.